The Invisible

I'm sure I did at one time. I'm sure I overlooked them, ignored them, was too busy talking to someone or on my cel talking to notice....or worse yet pretended to be busy so I didn't have to notice.

I am talking about the handicapped; whether they are using a walker, walking with a noticeable limp, or in a wheelchair. It's been three years since I began taking care of mom full time and seven years since she became mostly wheelchair bound, dependent on someone else pushing her around in one. When we became full-time caregivers, my youngest was a little over two years old. Hardly able to push open doors and requiring help himself to cross a parking lot and be taught to watch for cars, people carts, etc. I taught him very quickly to hold grandma's hand while I pushed her. The longer I continue to care for her, the more frustrated I become. Now before you become shocked at that, let me say that the source of my frustration does not come from her. It comes from the people I come in contact with and the lack of kindness given.

Who would have guessed that my major source of frustration would come from something as simple as a door. But let's face it, when you are pushing a wheelchair and then have to open the door, hold it open, and push the wheelchair through without pinching your fingers or running over your toes, it is no small task. The most frustrating are the people who watch me struggle with the door without bothering to help. I've had people stand behind me and watch me struggle with the door and are mad because they have to wait for me. I've had employees stand on the inside smiling at me as I struggle to get in. I've had businessmen rush through the door in front of us as I am holding the door and pushing mom in.

Now, not everyone is like this. I've had many who have walked out of their way to help me out. I had an African-American man push my full shopping cart to the car for me while I pushed mom. I had a fireman walk away from a conversation in the parking lot to hold the door for me. But it doesn't happen very often. The worst of the bunch are middle-aged businessmen and young women.

I am convinced this was my lesson to be learned for the times I may have done it to someone else. Everyone should spend a day in a wheelchair, see what it's like to be invisible.